Cecil Baldwin

can cure his pathological speech impediment through confidence alone. Cecil wears a large oven-mitt suit to work and is risky, risky, risky. Cecil doesn’t even care about the money but he does take part in joyous dance numbers. Cecil will destroy your brain with a silver fire extinguisher before you even know what he’s up to. Cecil’s Boston accent could be described as “shaky at best.” Cecil probably wouldn’t ride a public bus in L.A. either. BLAM—Cecil’s gonna knock you out. Cecil (son of Cecil, son of Cecil, heir to the Baldwin throne) finally returned that ring he carried around, like, forever. Cecil looks killer in a bob haircut and bugle beads. Cecil is almost positive he did not imagine winning that Nobel Prize for Economics. Cecil wonders, “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?” Cecil prizes his collection of Nazi tableware and video-recorded garbage caught in the wind. Cecil, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself. Cecil’s heart will go on, and on, and on…. Cecil has been known to convalesce overlooking the rolling hills of Tuscany. Cecil’s rallying cry makes you forget the fact he’s wearing a plaid skirt. Cecil wishes he could turn into a bird and fly far, far away. Cecil’s little, red raincoat still couldn’t save him in the end. Cecil thought he was dead, but later found out he was just in Nebraska. Cecil puts the lotion in the basket, or else he gets the hose again. Cecil keeps putting his fingers on his head like horns and showing you his butt. For goodness’ sake, Cecil just wants to go to the Piggly Wiggly! Cecil illegally counts cards (but it’s totally fine, ‘cause he doesn’t really know what he’s doing anyway). Cecil just wants to know what’s happening on the other side of that damned wall! Cecil humps three clicks to find Charlie—but finds himself instead. Cecil is not from Mother Africa, but he will one day return to her. Too many notes, Cecil, too many notes. Cecil will always be laughing through the tears, not the other way around. Cecil will walk all the way to the sea if he has to. Cecil will only run in slow motion. Cecil is everyday people. Cecil calmly makes french toast…. Yummm, french toast.