Twitter Plays, part V

Twitter Plays, Part V: World Theatre Day Edition!

A lot of entries this week, so I’m not going to print every single play that was submitted, but just so you know, we mark every Twitter Play we see in our Favorites. So you can always go back and see older entries.

I would also like to take this moment to commend @dloehr for his persistence in this assignment. He created his own higher level of difficulty by writing 10 plays in 30 minutes. Twice. He wrote 20 plays in 2 30 minute intervals on Friday. Holy [cuss word], ladies and gents. He also suggested we start using the hashtag #tweetre this week, which sounds like a good idea. We’ll give it a go with Tuesday’s assignment & see what happens. And now, onto your plays!

The assignment for the Vth installment was: write a full play (1 tweet) that has dialogue & at least 3 actors. (As always, my comments are in bold.)

Hot. You. YOU’RE hot:

@bilald
1: 4? What happened? 2: Basic mathematics. 3: You should be careful with those. (3 is attacked by the square root radical.)
(as a math nerd, this play made me high-X myself, where x is the number of fingers on one hand)

@jocelynguest
A: Gentlemen, your votes? B: Ay! C: NAY! A: Well, then. [A, B, & C grumble haughtily.]
(This is my internal dialogue while standing over a plate of cookies.)

@madhuri567
FROG: Do it. PRINCESS: No! F: Come on. P: Ugh. (KISS)(POOF) THE PRINCE BY MACHIAVELLI: Ciao Bella! Read me? PRINCESS: Crap.
&
GRAD STUDENT: Hate my thesis. ADVISOR: Reformulate your methodology. FAIRY GMOTHER: Poof! Bahamas! (GS WAKES UP) GS: Dammit.
(We’ve never met, but I think @madhuri567’s in grad school.)

@happierman
A: Let’s go back in time. B: It is impossible. (C enters) A&B: Who are you?! C: I’m you (to A) B: O paradox! (A&C vanish)

@AstronautOne
On a table an extravagant sandwich. 3 people stand near. 2 weeps 1:That IS nice. 2:Gde mya babuska? 3:Voila, porc-épic!

@NYNFPrez
Jeff: I told you to stop rattling that pan around! Sparrow: Then give me some birdseed. NOW. Jeff: You don’t tell me what to do.
&
A: oh crap i missed the 3 actors requirement. oh well back to the drawing board./ B: no wait jeff, i can help./ C: so can i!
(when all else fails, recapitulate!)

@millar
Lights up. Jim: I’m sorry Tina, I just need my space. Tina: You’re an asshole. Jim: Guilty as charged. Cindy: Let’s go sweetie.

@lfootprint
Jen: Here? Rip: Not sure (Liv enters, wearing shades) Liv: Definitely not here Jen: I like it Rip: Like it Liv: Try again

@kollektor
VLADIMIR: Godot? ESTRAGON: Hold me. POZZO: What the hell are you two talking about? GODOT: ... [curtain]

@jose602
Lincoln: I disagree! Douglas: You would, jerkface! Hamburglar: Robble robble! D: Point taken, moderator. I apologize.

@dloehr (20 plays submitted, but these were my faves)
Gauguin: It is beautiful! Bernard: It is uncanny, no? van Gogh: Eerie. Gauguin: Bah, puns are beneath you, Vincent.
&
A: I’m Henry the VIII, I am. B: No, yr a silly man who needs a shave. C: And wears a fur coat. [Exit, pursued by Henry VIII]
&
Wife: What are you doing? Me: Writing more short plays. Child: Feed me, father! Me: Away, I’m creating! Child 2: Pthhpt!
&
DV: Luke, I’m your father. LS: Duh. DV: Rosebud was the sled. LS: Orient Express? They all did it. Lando: SHUT UP! LALALA!
(you know what, Lando, if you haven’t seen those movies yet, you have no one to blame but yourself.)

@kevinlaibson
A:Where’s C? C:I’m right here. B:Dunno. C:I’m RIGHT HERE. A:Check his tweets. B:(Does)Says he’s here. A:Hm. I hate that guy.
(it’s so true! SO true!)

@adam_smith
1 yells “middle finger” repeatedly. 2 yells “flower petals!” at 1 repeatedly. 3 finds nearest wallet, steals it, runs away.

@chriscasquilho
V: Funds? E: Yes. P: I present myself: Pozzo. V. Not at all! E: He said funds. P: PPPOZZZO! E: Bozzo...Bozzo.

@cdiercksen
[A is eating salad] B: Fresh pepper? A: sure! C: Fresh beef? A: Sure! [A eats] A: Hey, this isn’t beer!

@martinschecter
“The Fall”: She: “Apple?” He: “Why, sure.” God (vo): “Get out of my yard, you scraggamuffins!”
(God is Clint Eastwood from “Gran Torino”)

@jaimealyse
Me: I’m tired. Everyone: We don’t care. Evryone else: Srsly, we don’t. Everyone: Write an fing play, lazy ass. Me: Just did.

@TDFNYC
Guy1: I have a quick idea to make the money. Guy2: Yeah? Guy3:What? Guy1: Kinkos!!!

@bethmonster
A to B: Write a play! B: No! C&D: Yes! B: I can’t be creative on demand! A, C & D: Yes you can! *B shrugs & starts writing*

@jbtolley
A:I don’t like pandas. B.Neither do I! A:Oh, thank god! B:I know. Right? (Panda enters and eats them both.)
(No twitter play session would be complete without a panda-gobbling. I just invented this rule.)

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.