Twitter plays, part LXXIX

It’s Twitter Plays LXXIX. This week’s assignment was to write a 1-tweet play that features a DATE (whatever that word means to you.)

Here are your plays, beginning with lessthankyle and a tetralogy I would like to title “Love? Affirmative!”:

4 from @lessthankyle:
[Man on couch, eating chips] Man: Oh Digital Analyzation and Translation Exporter, I’m so lonely. DATE: Affirmative.
&
[Date Yasumune at family reunion, eating chips] DY: As the last of my clan, I’m so lonely. DATE: Affirmative.
&
[Cop, room, eating chips] C:Wrong date on flyers, noone came to Drug, Alcohol, and Tobacco Education. I’m so lonely. DATE: Affirmative.
&
[Design Automation and Test in Europe event hall] DATE: Expo over. I’m so lonely. DATE: Affirmati-[DATEs lock eyes, embrace, date]

@alieechan:
@alieechan hasn’t had a date in over a year (@alieechan eats a date) i mean, since a moment ago.

@TheMadPope:
[A man on a bench.] Man: It’s the ninth today. It will be all day. [thinks. feeds pigeons.]

@mb3playa:
A: What’s today? B: Sept. 7. A: It’s been a year now… B: Eat a date. A: No! B: C’mon. A: Fine. {Bites} Ow! Seed. B: Ring.

@beinglizbreen:
A turns on 2+1/2 Men. (On TV) Sheen: Got a raisin? Girl: No? S: How about a date? Girl: ...? (They make out) A: HOW DID THAT WORK?!

@mrfochs:
Guy: The Moon is bright today Girl: That’s the sun Guy: You always correct me Girl: ‘cuz you’re always wrong Guy: I chose u?

@Dav3Ston3:
INT BAR:Pippin Took chats up a cute Nazgûl, putting her number in his phone tossing it in excitement.Gimli catches phone. G: Bad date.

@SidSolomon:
A: Hey there. B: Well, hello. A: Are you she? B: ...Are you he? A: I am if you are. B: Well then: I guess I’m not. A: Oh.

@KotexFitts:
Girl: What’s today? Boy: September 7th? Girl: yes, and we had a DATE LAST NIGHT THAT YOU FORGOT! Boy: Who are you, again?

@happierman:
[A&B in sunglasses] A:Show me. [B opens attaché, hesitates] A:Show me! [B reveals ziploc full of dates] A:Gross. B:Seriously, yo.

2 from @jamse:
[two guys sit on a clock] G1: i’ve always liked this view. G2: it’s high up. G1: don’t worry. the clock can’t melt. [G2 kisses G1]
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[Pastor holds Quran & match. lights match. beat. ash drifts from above. he turns his face up. beat] P: i forgot. [match goes out]

@Emperor_norton:
A: Today’s the day! B: Date Night? A: You know it! B: It’s sad that you only go out on a date once a year. A: It raises the stakes!

@genegeorge:
Mel: One side my old friend, for tonight I have a date… a date WITH DESTINY! Pip: Jesus, not another stripper?!

3 from @stevenberkowitz:
A Lady: Heavens! What is this remarkable fruit? [swoons onto divan in a fit of the vapours] (dir. note - or anaphylaxis)
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A:Today’s the day. B: I know. A: Today’s. The. Day. B: I. Know. A: Support would be nice. Today’s the day. B: You say that every day.
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Inner Voice: Twitterplays don’t count toward daily writing goals. You still have a date with Open Office. Me: Don’t wanna. *pouts*

@TCAnawalt:
He:"We gonna. Eat? Do you think. Again.” She:"What are you doing now?” He:"Nothing now- sleeping.” She:"You and me. In 5-4-3-” (alarm)

2 from @BeccaPiano:
Stan: We’ve had dis date from da beginnin. Blanche: When’s it expire? S:*peers* Uh, last Tues. B:*shrugs* S:Better not eat it. B: Wimp
&
Sue: What is this? You’re so pale! D:*gives flowers* S: Why, how sweet! But what ARE you? D: I am an android. Playwright: Sorry,my bad

Not only is it proof that Androids can love, it’s also our ender for this week!

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter. 

So many reasons to come see Too Much Light this weekend…

and every last one of them is in the moment, never to be repeated, grand-slam breakfast milkshake pretty. So pretty she deserves to be bought a milkshake before her legs get spidery from work and leathery from layin’ out, while she’s still a smooth-skinned Young Life leader who only smokes socially, before every sweet suck of dairy through the straw belabors a ventricle and builds up plaque behind her brainstem.

Reason # 1: This weekend is the only time our show will ever have these five new plays, crying out to the world for the first time as they dangle from the placenta of our brains:

I’m Like This. by Erica
Making Making Art Art Making Making Theater Art by Loar
Commute Recreation or Christmas In August by Ryan
Glenn Beck Is An Asshole Or A Conversation With My Conservative Conscience by Loar
Honesty Experiment # 1 by Erica

Reason # 2: Erica and Loar are back in the show this week. Look for adorable slip-ups as they toddle about.

Reason # 3: Me and Chris made this video to inspire you to come:

Reason # 4: The preacher says Infinity. Amen!

Infinity Amen. And yet you are left wanting more...see you tomorrow night, lovers.

Twitter plays, part LXXVIII

It’s Twitter Plays LXXVIII. This week’s assignment was to write a 1-tweet play that has a SURREAL ending (difficulty: no melty clocks).

Here are your plays, beginning with svaphro‘s strong case for Lasik:

@svaphro:
(Zach & Zoe picnic by a red carpet.) Zach: Can you believe she wore THAT? Zoe: I like it. Zach: Look again (hands her his right eye.)

2 from @BeccaPiano:
Pogo: You are my obscure object of desire. Churchy: I never knew you cared. Rowrbaz! [They turn into birds & fly away with Miz Beaver]
&
GregorSamsa:I feel funny.I just know I’ve had a terrible transformation. God no! I’ve turned into--[accidentally shoots hunting buddy]

@NFlemingPlays:
CARL: Honey? You seen my briefcase? SUE: Yes. Bottom of the fish tank. Go in the skull’s left eye. The gnome will give you a fig

2 from @sylliebee:
NYNEOS:Hi! AUDIENCE:Hi![giant pizzas enter on bicycles piloted by elephants in drag;AUDIENCE eats elephants] NYNEOS:That was surreal!
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HE:[reads lame greeting cards]SHE:[eats banana(w/skin)in methodical non-sexy way]BRAK:[v/o]And that to me,ladies and gentlemen,is love.

3 from @mightytoycannon:
Man in chicken suit slaps a nun in clown face. He stares at his palm (now stained with grease paint), then yodels. #tp78 Needs more surreal?
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ME: What do you think? DRAMATURG: I think the surreal should sneak up on us more. ME [urinating on stage]: Like this?
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A: Your play is absurdist, not surreal. B: How about now? [Blows whistle. Trained seal enters]. A: No. [Seal becomes bicycle] Good!

@pkdan14850:
Dog: Headline reads “Man Bites Dog”. Dog2: Saw this in a movie. The man died of rabies. Man: Mother loved me too much. Dog: Yes,fleas.

@tonyfaulkner:
Waiter: Will there be anything else sir? Man: You haven’t taken my order yet! W: Yes sir. M: I’m leaving! W: Sir! You left your head!

@stephdlau:
Betty hands out pies. B: Don’t forget! Wham bam eat the ham! They repeat & pie-themselves in the face. All explode into crumbles

@Emperor_norton:
PRIEST: Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? MAN: I do. PRIEST: You may kiss the bride. MAN kisses a SHOVEL.

@mb3playa:
MAN offers roses to WOMAN.] W: You’re certain? M: Yes. [W holds roses while M disrobes. M fashions rosebuds into underwear, exits.]

@jamse:
[two guys on a clock] G1: i’m going to start. G2: the clock can’t melt. G1: chirp. G2: the clock can’t melt. [the clock is a cat]

@soccerboyLA:
A guy walks into Starbucks. Him (2 barista): We’ve never met, but you were in my dream. Her: I know. You were in my dream too.

@xopherok:
Vladimir, Estragon sit under tree. In limps a 3-legged dog. V: “Godot?” *pause* Dog sits, speaks: “Yes, and that should read ‘paws’.”

@aldrichj:
I could have drank at the Marlin all winter… (backlit, I fly U.S. toward a neon pink scrim; projected on top is a mouth reading Lolita).

Not only is that an exact description of my 5th grade school play; It’s also our ender for this week!

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter. 

Retreat! Retreat!

So our artistic retreat at NACL happened yesterday, and it was beautiful and relaxing and just a lovely time with nearly the entire company away from NYC for a couple of days.

Here are a few photos I took during our non-working time. (plus about 3 dozen more over at my Flickr page)

Canoeing

Erica and stockings in the lovely NACL theater space.

Chisa, Nicole, Roberta, & Des napping in a ubiquitous sunbeam.

Borg can play the saw!!

Joey is pretending to be attractive while actually cooking us burgers.

Adam. The end.

This is for the show!

I’m memorizing my lines and thinking about the 60 minutes of glory that will be spent on the stage of the Kraine tomorrow and Saturday nights. We got Ryan and Roberta back in the show this week, we got 8 new plays:

Fortress by Joey
We Melt For You Noemi LeFrancs. by Borg
Call This Play Make The Neos Go Blind by Cara
The R Word by Nicole
Sintitulo by Roberta
To Pick Up The Phone And Call You by Cara
Sadly This Is An Argument by Roberta
Horse Cock (now i know i’ve said too much) by Ryan

and directly following our Saturday night show, we will be heading up to NACL in the Catskills to roast marshmallows and give each other hand jobs. Artistic hand jobs. Using glow paint for lube! We will come back energized, alive and creativ-ated.

Below is me giving you some of this information (AND MORE!) in a couple of custom-made videos. Look at that paint shine!

Love,

Cara