Episode 81 - Give Us A Call

Thanks for Hitting Play and then listening to Hit Play. This episode: Mike needs a payphone, Kyra gets a card game lesson from her dad, and Julia leaves many voicemails.

If you like what you hear and want to support the New York Neo-Futurists, subscribe to the show, tell a friend, and leave a review on your listening app of choice. We’d love to hear from you! @nyneofuturists on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. If you want to support in other ways, consider making a donation at nynf.org, or joining our Patreon. 

If you want to cry with Kyra, we've got you covered with this Spotify sad girl playlist.

1:48 - This is what you get by Rob Neill

1:55 - Sad Girl Playlist by Kyra Sims 

5:01 - (212) 283-8707 by Mike Manship

12:15 - [CW: Reference to the Holocaust] Audio Guide to Unseen Pasts (edited for time) by Rob Neill

20:17 - twisted cord by Anthony Sertel Dean

23:52 - excerpts from a call with my dad: relearning Tunk by Kyra Sims

28:01 - Please Leave a Message: 10 Years of Voicemail Ramblings by Julia Melfi

Our logo was designed by Gabriel Drozdov

Our sound is designed by Anthony Sertel Dean

Hit Play is produced by Anthony Sertel Dean, Lee LeBreton, and Julia Melfi

Take care!

Transcript 

Show Intro
	Pulsing electronic beat plays underneath.

Julia: 81. Give Us A Call. Hi, I’m Julia—a New York Neo-Futurist. Our live show is back, but we can't stop making art for your ears. So Hit Play continues!  

If you’re already a fan of The New York Neo-Futurists, or any of our sibling companies, hello hello! We can’t wait to plan out which foot will step on which crunchy leaf on the ground on a crisp early fall walk with you. If this is totally new to you—welcome to it!

We make art by four rules: We are who we are, we’re doing what we’re doing, we are where we are, and the time is now. Simply put: we tell stories, and those stories are our own. Everything that you hear is actually happening. So if we tell you we are surprise Facetiming fellow Neo-Futurist Katie Chelena, we’re really surprise Facetiming fellow Neo-Futurist Katie Chelena. Like I am right now. 

	Phone ringing.

Okay, Katie is not answering. That’s fair—who answers a surprise Facetime? I guess me only. Maybe she’s working—it is 2:18 on a Tuesday.

	Sound of call ending.

Ah, I failed. Well, I tried.

And now, Kyra will Run the Numbers!

Kyra: Hi, I’m Kyra, a New York Neo-Futurist. 

In this episode we’re bringing you 7 new plays.

This week’s cast is Rob Neill, Mike Manship, me (Kyra Sims), Anthony Sertel Dean, and Julia Melfi.

That brings us to 380 audio experiments on Hit Play. Enjoy!

	Music sputters out.


Play 1: This is what you get (1:48)
Julia: Hi, you’ve reached Julia. Can’t come to the phone right now. Leave me a message and I’ll call you back! Thanks.


Play 2: Sad Girl Playlist (1:55)
GO!

A Sad Girl Song plays in the background, reverberating vocals over guitar.

A sad girl playlist is necessary 

A sad girl playlist heals 

A sad girl playlist is there for you when they can’t be there for you they way your heart wants them to be 

Or when they can’t be there at all

A new song crossfades.

A sad girl playlist would make you scrambled eggs if it could

With cheddar cheese and green onions on top

Buttered toast and tea 

A sad girl playlist would put on Gilmore Girls and wrap you in a thousand blankets and tell you to wallow 

A sad girl playlist will say the words you cannot say 

More songs crossfade in and out.

A sad girl playlist would sit on the phone with you as you cry and cry and cry until you’re all dried up and you have no tears left for them 

Because that number is finite. 

You know this. The Sad Girl playlist doesn’t need to remind you. 

But the sad girl playlist is happy to catch those tears for you 

And weave them into a funny story you’ll tell one day when your heart is healed 

And your head is held up high 

A sad girl playlist is here for you. 

A sad girl playlist is standing by. 


Play 1, cont’d.: This is what you get (4:52)

Beep.

Anthony: Hello hello. You’ve reached Anthony Sertel Dean’s cell phone. I clearly have not picked up the phone but I would love to speak with you. Please send me a text or leave a message, and I will call you back.


Play 3: (212) 283-8707 (5:01)
GO!

Ambient noise.

Mike: I’m a frustratingly sentimental person. It’s frustrating to me, anyway.

Coins entering a slot.

I seem to spend a lot more time searching for the past than planning for the future. And I hold onto everything—every gift l, even if I don’t like it; every receipt, even if I don’t need it. The after-image of every human gesture sticks with me and takes on an outsized meaning. So when “Give Me A Call” come up as our Hit Play theme, of course I went searching for a pay phone.

Distorted voice.

Behind me you hear the background audio that plays when you visit payphone-project.com, a text-based website that looks like it’s left over from the Geocities and Friendster days. In theory, it tells you where you can still find payphones in the city. Supposedly, they still exist.

My original plan was to use this site to find a old school payphone, call up a 2022 scam number—you know the ones you get calls from a dozen times a day that look really similar to your number?—and read them a 1990s email scam, something where I pretend to be a rich uncle or the IRS or whatever. It was a baby plan, an undeveloped play idea with a dozen logistical impossibilities. I don’t need to list them here, but I’ll mention a few.

First, those numbers are masks. Returning those calls doesn’t actually get you to the person who called you. Second, no one is likely to answer, and if they did, who’s going to put up with whatever that I’d try to get them wrapped up in? And third, where the hell am I gonna find a payphone in 2022?

Street noise.

I found an electric charging station. Cool. But not a payphone. The next place I went is now a bagel shop. It looks like a pretty good bagel shop, but it’s also not a payphone. So I’m on my way to my third possible payphone site.

Street noise ends.

According to the Payphone Project, there are 187 payphones in Astoria alone. I had to count that number by hand. There isn’t a map or anything like that, just a list of phone numbers attached to businesses that don’t exist and may never have, like Attraction Haircutters and Pars Auto which incidentally only exists on MapQuest. Of course I could find neither business nor payphone, and this is the end of my relationship with payphone-project.com.

Street noise and sound of rushing water.

Okay so I’m at Rockefeller Center standing by the fountains, which you might be able to hear in the background, looking up at this beast of a building which is the 30 Rock hub and apparently there is a “communications portal” inside that used to have a long row of payphones but now there is but one, and I’m going to see if I can make that my payphone of choice.

Street noise ends.

The payphone at Rockefeller Center is on the west end of the building where the subway comes in.

Street noise.

Okay so I found a payphone!

Street noise ends.

It over-promises and under-delivers.

Street noise.

It will give me a dial tone and I can pick the phone up and I can dial a number. And then it says “Please deposit a dollar” and I put in quarters and they fall straight through to the bottom of the machine.

Street noise ends.

There are actually payphones all over New York City. Don’t buy this “last-ever payphone” stuff that the Museum of the City would have you believe. I’ve seen several since wrapping up this project, including one just yesterday at the 14th Street subway at 8th Avenue. It’s right by the turnstiles, easily visible and just as easy to walk right by. The question and the conundrum is whether these payphones work.

Train station noise.

I am walking through Penn Station, specifically I just…

(overlaid: I have time for one more swing at a payphone before my audio was due. This time, I’m pretty sure I have a good internet lead, with details and pictures.)

I’m following signs for Long Island Railroad because according to the internet by track 19 near the Lost and Found there is a working payphone.

So here’s a sign that says Long Island Railroad tracks 13 through 21. I’m moving toward track 19… 13, 14, track 15, 16… somebody’s boarding on track 19… track 17, track 18, track 19…

(overlaid: For a moment I’m sure I’ve found another dud.)

There’s construction here. The wall has been built over with an artificial wall and I wonder if this last payphone is gone.

I’m going to go up some stairs here and see if there is another entrance to track 19 where this payphone might be. Running out of options. Running out of optimism that I’ll be able to call anyone on a payphone today.

Train station noise.

Oh my gosh… I found a payphone. Coming out from track 19. Here’s a payphone. It says it will let me call someone for 50 cents.

(overlaid: I need to do a test, so I call myself.)

Dial tone and Mike pressing number buttons.

Okay it wants 50 more cents.

Coins entering slot.

Waiting to see if the call will go through. Oh my… there’s a call that just showed up on my phone.

(overlaid: And then—and the irony of this is not lost on me—I message the entire Neo-Futurist ensemble on WhatsApp. I ask, “Who can I call from a payphone right now?” Rob, who is one of our Artistic Directors, writes back with one word: “Me.”)

Rob: (faint, through the payphone) Hello?

Mike: Hey Rob. I’m calling you from a payphone in Penn Station.

Train station boarding announcement.

Mike: Yeah, it’s very noisy in here.

As soon as Rob started to talk, a train announcement came on. Whatever feeble recording I would’ve been able to make is ruined by the aggressive noise of Penn Station. I don’t know what Rob said exactly but I made a call from a payphone.

Mike pressing number buttons.

As my deadline to submit material approaches, I’m not sure how I’m going to put all this together. What’s the button, what’s the ending, what did I learn?

Then I get a notification on my phone. An old school notification if you will.

Automated Voice: You have one new message.

Mike: The universe has given me something to hold onto.

Automated Voice: Message saved.

Mike: Damn this sentimentality.

Beep.


Play 1, cont’d.: This is what you get (12:00)

Beep.

Automated Voice: —message system.

Deep Distorted Voice: NUMBER REDACTED

Automated Voice: —is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options.


Play 4: Audio Guide to Unseen Pasts (edited for time) (12:15)

Play 5: twisted cord (20:17)
GO!

Soft ambient musical tones.

Anthony: What do you do with your hands?

When you’re sitting, 
	Like you’re sitting here
		Are you sitting? Here?
Do you hold your hands in your hands?
You know what they say about idle hands. 
	My hands are anything but idle. 
Ever in motion, grasping hold
	Mostly to themselves
The twisting of fingers around one another
The twisting of fingers around one another
	Like roots too eager, 
Poking up, little one finger waves from the soil
Then the twisting and the curling
	A nice form of interlocking
	Looking at the lines at the joints from the bending, for the bending
But it’s more of a feeling thing. 
	It’s your hands! 
Right?
Hands? It’s a feeling thing?
Them moving, interlocking. 
Wrapping that telephone cord around your finger
Twisting it, thinking 
oh yeah this is what’s connecting us now
And remembering the last time you were twisting

And is it still a feeling thing?
Or is it more of a memory thing?
	Or a feeling feeling memory thing?
No, for, no, for me it’s a… memory, 
	He — memory (sigh)
	Memory of —
	Mem — it’s a, it’s um
You?

Maybe it’s more of where my hands//what my hands were
But for you - at least now - it’s my voice
	And your hands!
	And my voice. 
They both have pasts and we’re here now. 
Did they learn? Before they got here
What did that feel like?
	I mean, you probably already know. You felt it. 
And your voice. 
Wrapping around the telephone cord. 
Like mine. 
Interlocking. 


Play 1, cont’d.: This is what you get (15:43)

Beep.

Mike: Hi you’ve reached Mike. Please leave a message.


Play 6: excerpts from a call with my dad: relearning Tunk (23:52)
GO!

Soft horn music.

Kyra: So do you remember how you learned this game?

Kyra’s Dad: We used to gamble in school, playing Tunk in study hall!

Kyra laughs.

I did in high school. I did in college. It was like a little side hustle. I made money winning money for my classmates in high school and college.

Because we’re only playing with two people, you can play with a modified deck and in this case… (Fades out)

Kyra: Do you remember any of the specific kids you would play with?

Kyra’s Dad: I didn’t really know them. We had what we called marks, we played with marks, people we didn’t know.

Kyra: Oh! So this really was a hustle.

Kyra’s Dad: Is that a new deck?

Kyra: Yeah it is.

Kyra’s Dad: This is a new deck I have. We’ve got to do a lot of shuffling and if you don’t, it’s not going to be fun.

Kyra: Alright, I’ll do some shuffling.

Cards shuffling.

Kyra’s Dad: I hear you! You sound like a card shark! I hear you. I’m not playing you for money!

Kyra: Uh oh!

Kyra’s Dad: Like a card shark, teach me how.

Kyra: When I was a kid, remember when I was really into Solitaire?

Kyra’s Dad: Yes.

Kyra: I practiced doing the bridge shuffle all the time so I’m actually pretty good at it.

Kyra’s Dad: If we were playing for money, I’d be afraid. It’s a fun game. It’s a lot of strategy and also a lot of luck. Luck is always important.

Crossfade.

Alright, I want you to deal five cards face down. Remember the idea is to get low or spread. Whoever can get the lowest, get away with the lowest, wins the game. Since there’s nothing in my hand remotely close to spread, guess what I’m going to get rid of? What should I get rid of?

Kyra: The Jack?

Kyra’s Dad: Right. The Jack is gone.

Kyra: Alright and that’s going to the discard?

Crossfade.

Kyra’s Dad: The more you play, the better you are. That’s why you got real good down in Disney World because we were stuck in the room, remember?

Kyra: Right. Tell me what all you remember about that trip.

Kyra’s Dad: I remember you learning Tunk. Justin didn’t care much for it but you did and how, before you know it, you would beat me like you’re doing now.

Kyra: You taught it to us because we were in Florida during the rainy season so it was raining every afternoon.

Kyra’s Dad: Yes. So I had to come up with a way to entertain you guys and you were not about to take a nap so…

Crossfade.

Kyra’s Dad: Okay now it’s your turn to pull. What did you pull?

Kyra: Okay I pulled Ace of Hearts. Are aces high or low?

Kyra’s Dad: Yeah that’s low.

Kyra: Low, so that’s good.

Kyra’s Dad: Yeah, so you’d get rid of what?

Kyra: I’d get rid of… the Seven of Hearts?

Kyra’s Dad: Yes.

Crossfade.

Kyra’s Dad: So what are you going to do?

Kyra: I’m going to run.

Kyra’s Dad: There you go! Run baby run! Run Forest run!

Kyra: So this would be a regular Tunk right?

Kyra’s Dad: Yes, so that’s regular Tunk. You see…

Crossfade.

Kyra’s Dad: See, you won two games already!

Kyra: Yeah, I totally get it now. Thank you.

Kyra’s Dad: Well let’s play another hand!

Kyra: Dad, thank you so much for reteaching me this game. Hopefully I’ll just remember it this time.

Kyra’s Dad: You’ve gotta practice.

Kyra: I will. I’m going to teach it to my friends, maybe start my own side hustle.

Kyra’s Dad: There you go.

Kyra: And we’ll play the next time we’re both in the same town.

Kyra’s Dad: We could go here again if you want to.

Kyra: Okay!

Kyra’s Dad: Alright baby. Thank you for allowing me to appear on your podcast. I’m so honored.

Kyra: Aww. Alright I’m going to stop recording now.

Kyra’s Dad: Okay.


Play 1, cont’d.: This is what you get (19:42)

Beep.

Rob: Hey it’s Rob with the New York Neo-Futurists. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.


Play 7: Please Leave a Message: 10 Years of Voicemail Ramblings (28:01)
GO!

Julia: Hello, how are you? 

Hello, hello. 

It's truly a Happy Friday, just calling to say hello. 

It's Julia, just calling to say hello.

Just come and say hi, see how you are doing? 

Hello, good evening as well.

I realize it’s kind of an odd time to call, an irregular time. And that person is really angry…

Just calling to see how you are, happy Saturday.

Just on my way home from the grocery store. And I thought to give you a ring.

It's me!

Someone just came to pick up Sally's mattress. And you know, it was kind of like this young, bumbling guy and his brother who just moved to the city. He took the last part of the bed frame down and was like, “Oh, also, I found a big bag of weed under the mattress.” So I guess it’s mine now? I just thought it was very funny and needed to laugh about it with somebody.

Being in the show with the Neo-Futurists has been very cool. I feel like I had a bit of a confidence drop last week where I was like, feeling pressure to write like, the best play ever. And I feel mostly over that though that lingers a bit. It's hard to compare yourself to other people, you know, but as they say, to compare is to despair. So you know, trying to heed the rhyme. 

I am calling to just check in and say hello, and see how you're doing. And just to kind of talk, because it's been a really horrible day. But I feel like the talking with people I care about has been good and felt good. And I care about you. So I wanted to talk to you. I also wanted to say thank you for all of the work that you did for the campaign. And I think that was a really amazing worthwhile pursuit. And I wish more people had done what you did and had treated it with such urgency. So I thank you for that. I don't know, I'm really rambling at the moment, but it's been that kind of a day. So please take care of yourself. Watch some cartoons or The Office bloopers or something. Okay, I love you very much.

I'm calling from a weird hotel in Orlando, Florida. 

I am at the Cleveland airport waiting to get back to New York.

Walking home from seeing part two of Angels in America. 

Yay, last week of work! 

Well, I kind of lost my train of thought. 

Oh my gosh, I realized last time we didn't check in with your young lover!

It’s 72 degrees today but I have to say it feels like the 60s. It's cool. And I'm loving the turn into fall. 

I'm on my way back from a grocery run. This is like the first non-essential-ish grocery run. Like I did get some staples that we needed but I also what motivated the trip was ice cream and beer which is a little indulgent and apparently everyone had a similar idea because there was no ice cream.

I just was approached by a man who was asking for directions and then getting the vibe that he wanted to walk together so I was like, “Oh, actually I might peel off…” Anyway, so, he kind of maneuvered a little bit of a walk. He told me he had just come back from Afghanistan and then he said all of the Julias he’s met have been really cute and, “You are no exception.” And that was weird and I didn't know what to say. Anyway, I got kind of cornered into giving my number but it's harmless because I just won't ever respond. God, I hate those situations. What on earth do you do?

We just got hit with like two tickets system. I want to hear also about your Fulbright, how that is going…

Hum dee dum.

I’m sorry if my stress stressed you out. It just made me anxious, the whole thing made me anxious.

It’s so hard to think when it’s so humid.

Hope you had a good first week of classes. I bet you're studying away in some beautiful library right now.

I’m going to start Big Little Lies tonight, get some sort of free trial situation.

Anyway, I was just calling to complain about my father and I'm trying to write an email back to him. So of course I just wanted to complain to you and ask for your advice. 

I am finishing up my taxes with an accountant like a regular person, whoo hoo, or some regular people rather. But I want like a person, basically, so I can just swallow any kind of money shame and just show everything to and be like, “So what do I do?” You know?

This is really random but I don't know if you've seen the horror holiday film Happiest Season which I hate but I truly love. I've seen it multiple times. Anyway it takes place in Pittsburgh, so I wanted your read on if that was an appropriate apartment for those characters to be living in.

Tomorrow is New Years. Can you believe it? I mean, yes and no.

I got my first shot of the vaccine yesterday. It was really exciting. And I'm feeling a little sore still and a little kind of like under the weather. So I'm just reclining on the couch and thought to give you a call.

Calling to say happy birthday. I hope you're having a lovely day so far and have some nice fun things planned for yourself. It looks like your garden is thriving. And I want to hear about your babies, your plant babies. And also maybe babies you're delivering. Okay. Well, Lord, what has happened? Happy birthday to you. Talk to you later. Love you. Bye. 

That's about it. 

Okay, cool. 

Okay, cool. 

I'll talk to you later. 

Love you 

and I'll talk to you later. 

Okay. Talk to you later. 

Hope you had a good one. 

Good night. 

Take care. Love you. 

I heard your “beep beep beep” so I'm gonna hang up. I'll talk to you later. Bye. 

Bye.

Bye.


Show Outro
	Electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Jula: Thanks for Hitting Play and then listening to Hit Play. If you liked what you heard, subscribe to the show, tell a friend and leave a review on your listening app of choice! If you want to support the New York Neo-Futurists in other ways, consider making a donation at nynf.org, or by joining our Patreon–Patreon.com/NYNF. 

Want to suggest a theme for a future episode? For the rest of season 3, we will be selecting themes randomly and patrons can submit theme ideas.

This episode featured work by: Rob Neill, Mike Manship, Kyra Sims, Anthony Sertel Dean, and Julia Melfi.

Our logo was designed by Gabriel Drozdov. And our sound is designed by Anthony Sertel Dean. Hit Play is produced by Anthony Sertel Dean, Lee LeBreton, and me, Jula Melfi. Take Care! 

	Music fades out!