Transcript

Show Intro

electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Mike: Episode 65. Cold Turkey. Hi, I’m Mike—a New York Neo-Futurist. We started making this podcast last year while our on-going, ever-changing, late-night show, The Infinite Wrench was on hold. I’m very happy to say that the show is back now, but because we’re still operating at half capacity--and not quite everyone is ready to head out to the East Village in person--we wanted to keep making art for you. And also, we just like it.   

If you’re already a fan of The New York Neo-Futurists, or any of our sibling companies, hello! We can’t wait to look you in the eyes and say “hey, hi, hello, thanks for being here!” If this is totally new to you—welcome to it!

We make art by four rules: We are who we are, we’re doing what we’re doing, we are where we are, and the time is now. Simply put: we tell stories, and those stories are our own. Everything that you hear is actually happening. So if we tell you we're slithering on the floor under a blanket like a giant fuzzy snake, it’s actually snake time and you should make sure you didn’t just get your ear bit. 

Some of the work in this episode may contain sensitive topics. For more specific content warnings, check the timecodes in the show notes.

Mike: And now, Rob will Run the Numbers!

Rob: Hey, I’m Rob, a New York Neo-Futurist. 

In this episode we’re bringing you 6 plays. This week’s cast is Anooj Bhandari, Kyra Sims, Mike Puckett, Greg Lakhan, and me--Rob Neill.

This brings us to 284 audio experiments on Hit Play. Enjoy!

Music winds down.

Play 1: A Seemingly Ambiguous Play About Quitting (1:51)

Anooj: A Seemingly Ambiguous Play About Quitting. GO!

Neo 1: Breath in through one nostril, 1, 2, 3

And out

And in through the other, 1, 2, 3

And out. 

Anooj: Stale, poisoned, chemical, it lingers, makes me wonder where my head is at, smaller than other stuff but still bigger than others and the Google searches tell me that I shouldn’t feel guilty, and this is a thing I hide and I leave out the nouns even when I talk to myself about it, and this is a thing I hide. 

Neo 1 and 2: Breath in through one nostril, 1, 2, 3

And out

And in through the other, 1, 2, 3

And out. 

Anooj: When you realize something exists that can make something good feel better, You suspect that what was once good becomes meh and what’s better becomes further away from you, and suddenly two once close things feel like they’re inching away, and where is your head. 

Neo 1, 2, and 3: Breath in through one nostril, 1, 2, 3

And out

And in through the other, 1, 2, 3

And out. 

Anooj: Change the pronouns. Be more honest. When I realize something exists that can make something good feel better, I suspect that what was once good becomes meh and what’s better becomes further away from me, and suddenly two once close things feel like they’re inching away, and where is my head. 

Neo 1, 2, 3, and 4: Breath in through one nostril, 1, 2, 3

And out

And in through the other, 1, 2, 3

And out. 

Anooj: I have learned how important breath can be in getting yourself to leave something. As in, there is nothing more accountable to myself than the air circulating through my body. As in, maybe there’s one thing and it’s the fact that I’m responsible for circulating it. As in, it’s not that when I’m unable to leave I’m not breathing, but rather I just tend to forget how good it feels. To remember how capable of this I am, alone. 

Neo 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5: Breath in through one nostril, 1, 2, 3

And out

And in through the other, 1, 2, 3

And out. 

Anooj: As in, sometimes it takes a village to remind myself how easy it is to return to my body. To reunite with itself and to let us leave this together. 

Play 2: Scam Likely? (5:52)

Mike: Scam Likely?. GO!

NEO: Hi, is this [beeeeeeep]? (pause) Oh, sorry about that. Hey, maybe you can help me-

MP: 

That wasn’t the call, but it was that kind of call. 

The kind of robo-call where the voice actor pretends to be a fucking idiot so you think for a second that they might be real. 

Of course, the robots could be fucking idiots, too, but the point is: It worked. 

I stayed on the line a split second longer to hear what she - the robot - had to say.

I didn’t focus on her words at first because I was transfixed by her voice. 

It was put-on, high-pitched, like a proto-uwu e-girl, but at the same time it was familiar, nostalgic, I couldn’t quite tell why, but-- 

And then she’s selling me a fucking cruise. 

I go to hang up, angry at the robots for wasting my time - and then I remember that before she called, I was spending that time wiping dried coffee off of IKEA furniture at a knock-off WeWork. 

My shift doesn’t end for another two hours. 

Fuck it, I go back to the call.

She’s in the middle of telling me all the ways I could get to Bermuda. 

Hasn’t skipped a beat. 

And as she’s struggling to decide whether it’s CaRIBbean or CaribBEAN, she accidentally drops the fake voice. 

She recovers half a second later, but my eardrum is already vibrating the way it’s been trying to since the call began.

 My heartstrings flinch ever so specifically and I realize that not only do I know this woman; I used to date her. 

She was a freelance voice actress.

And so I respond to the voice prompts loudly and clearly, in my empty cavern of an office, 

“Yes, I would like to hear more inf- MORE INFORMATION.” 

I let my heart beat a little faster as I imagine her recording this in her new apartment however many months ago. 

It’s hard to miss the kind of person who’d lend their voice to an obvious scam, but it felt comforting all the same.

And then she asked me:

NEO: Do you make $50,000 or more per year?

MP:  And I answered honestly: “...No.”

(dial tone)

Disconnects. Instantly. And I haven’t heard from her since.

Play 3: RE: NICK OR TREAT (7:20)

Greg: RE: NICK OR TREAT. GO!

Projector Sound Fades In

Contorted audio pulled from a 1988 Nick or Treat Saturday Night Cartoon Promo plays

Greg: Nick Or Treat…

Kyra: Nick Or Treat...

Greg: Nick...Or….Treat...You know, that sounds a lot like-

Kyra: Greg, there are too many white people listening to this podcast.

Greg: (sighs) Right. Sorry... 

Sound of projector, then:

Contorted audio pulled from a 1992 Nick or Treat Saturday Night Cartoon Promo plays

Projector sounds fade

Kyra: Fun fact: Nickelodeon ran the Nick Or Treat block from 1985, all the way to 2002.

Greg: Part of me was hoping that these ads were just some sort of fucked up accident that people just overlooked, but they definitely knew exactly what the fuck they were doing.

Kyra: Can you imagine being the one black diversity hire at Nickelodeon in like 1995 dealing with this shit? 

Greg: (responds)

Kyra: Well Greg, whether or not the ad is “accidentally” racist or not doesn't really matter. Accidental racism doesn’t exist.

Greg: Yeah you’re right. Ignorance certainly does though. 

Sound fades

Play 4: Trouble in the Works (9:21

Rob: Trouble in the Works . GO!

There are environmental music/sound under this, maybe some of them factory sounds.

This is the trouble

This is the trouble my hands don’t hold things like they used 

This is the trouble I keep losing you even in my dreamtimes

This is the trouble my body will not hold up. No one’s really does

This is the trouble the blood-suckers keep coming

This is the trouble I will forget the word for

This is the trouble

This is the trouble when does the hatred stop?

This is the trouble

The trouble is I am able to stream so many shows, sports, movies, binge series from other countries for hours on end but not clean out the fridge, scrub the tub, make the bed. 

This is the trouble I’m going to forget your name. 

Trouble is it is easier to be wrong. 

Trouble is the isolation

This is the trouble I am afraid to introduce you to the person even older me will be

This is the trouble the climate, wealth distribution, the bees, the list goes on

This is the trouble my dreams are more vivid in my life

This is the trouble there are limits

This is the trouble undermining science

OK I will still organize my fridge for a long time. 

The trouble is I will continue to lose my keys my phone my wallet my ability to breathe deeply 

This is the trouble I do not hear you

Trouble is I will not hear you 

My left ear has profound loss

Is this too loud

This is the trouble 

This is the trouble I will eat food that is too spicy for my stomach 

Trouble is I don’t know how it ends, does anyone?

Trouble is when does it end?

Trouble is I will try to speak to you on the phone even leave a voicemail rather than text or DM 

This is the trouble I have lost your number.

Trouble is as they say perfectionism leads to procrastination

Keep your shadows in front of you because they’ll take you down from behind

This is the trouble I have not

Trouble is I have made a list but forgotten where I put it

Trouble is trouble is not

This is the trouble

This is the trouble some things have come into focus while others have faded far into the imperfect snowfields of memory

and my hands don’t hold things like they used to but I hope my heart still can

Have I told you that before

Trouble is this is just a glimpse

Is this the trouble

Play 5: All Those Turkeys Could Be Dreaming of a Life Full of Love (12:10)

Anooj: All Those Turkeys Could Be Dreaming of a Life Full of Love. GO!

Neos gobble an acapella version of Fields of Gold in 5 part harmony. 

Eventually, a piano underscores this general chaos. 

Show Outro

electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Hilary: Hi I'm Hilary, a New York Neo-Futurist. We love to invite the audience on stage to talk to us after our in person show The Infinite Wrench, but that's hard to do in the podcast medium. That said, we really want to hear from you so we set up a voicemail box. 646-820-4733. Tell us what Hit Play means to you. What do you like about it? What do you wish we did more? We’re cooking up something for the end of year episode and if you'd like to be a part of it leave us a voicemail at 646-820-4733. That number is in the show notes as well. Keep it short and sweet and let us know if we can use your first name and message in a future episode of Hit Play. Keep listening and you just might hear your voice! Hope to hear from you soon.

Mike: Thanks for Hitting Play and then listening to Hit Play. If you liked what you heard, subscribe to the show and tell a friend, and leave a review on your listening app of choice! If you want to support the New York Neo-Futurists in other ways, consider making a donation at nynf.org, or joining our Patreon–Patreon.com/NYNF. 

This episode featured work by: Anooj Bhandari, Kyra Sims, Mike Puckett, Greg Lakhan, Rob Neill, and Hilary Asare. 

This episode was conducted by me, Mike Puckett.

Our logo was designed by Gabriel Drozdov. And our sound is designed by Anthony Sertel Dean. Hit Play is produced by Anthony Sertel Dean, Julia Melfi, and Brock Foreman. Thanks again for listening! 

Music fades out!